Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. Here's how to turn that ex-boyfriend into your significant other once again!
- Consider why it is you broke up in the first place. Do you just want him back just because you feel that you can't have him? Or maybe you just like the idea of having a boyfriend? Or you really do like him? Were one (or both) of you abusive, controlling, mean, or possessive? Did one (or both) cheat? If any of these things happened, you'll want to think long and hard about going back to that kind of relationship.
- Be the person he fell in love with. He was attracted to you because he felt good with you, and you were fulfilling his emotional needs. How have you changed? Correct bad habits and mistakes, if any. Be positive around him. Laugh and smile. Always stay positive to feel good about yourself and make friends around you.
- The first thing that you say to your ex boyfriend is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get your ex boyfriend back. Do not respond to your ex request for a breakup by crying and begging him to come back. This will not work. You are just going to make him feel more irritated and drive him further away. You need to understand that even though he initiates the breakup, there is a good chance that he still harbors good feelings for you.
- Use the past to your advantage. If he's ever complimented your outfit, wear it again. Or, share a light-hearted memory with him. If you have a chance to meet him, do it at a familiar place you used to hang out together.
- Listen carefully to his choice of words. If he ever uses an unusual or uncommon word, casually slip it into the conversation again. This subconsciously tells him that he and you are similar due to exclusive and similar ways of talking.
- Casually ask if he'd like to do something non-committal, like have a drink with friends, play miniature golf, play tennis, etc. Something friends and first dates alike can do. And whatever it is, keep it fun. Skip out on the serious talks for now. You'll have plenty of time to talk about that later. That's very threatening to a lot of guys. If he initiates it, follow his lead. But don't go heavy.
- Let him know you were thinking about him. Remember that one time you two went to dinner at that great new restaurant and had a fabulous time? Leave him a short email telling him you ate there recently and thought of him. And, by the way, how is he doing? This is a non-threatening way to have a light conversation, and also, a small request for a reply back.
- Invite him to talk to you. Express regret things weren't working out between you and ask if you can talk about it now that you have some perspective. Ask if what went wrong was related to what you've been working on. Your ex may have a different perspective!
- Pay a little attention to your appearance if you have been neglecting yourself in that department.
- If you just broke up (less than a couple weeks) completely ignore him. He will call you if he likes you. If he doesn't then nothing you say or wear will change that. (This works unless you are dealing with a guy that thinks that if you aren't coming after him, you don't care. Sometimes, ignoring him makes him feel like you are perfectly fine without him and are moving on, which is the exact opposite of what you want when you are trying to get back with your man. Be sure you know exactly what type of guy you are dealing with when trying to get him back.)
- Remember, no situation is hopeless. Every day, couples get back together regardless of the situation.
- Agree with the break-up . The most important thing you can do is agree with the break-up because as long as you're fighting against his decision you won't be able to work towards getting him back. What you resist, persists!
- Find other things to focus on. If you focus your attention on a new activity, you will have less time to miss your ex boyfriend. You feel stronger and more in control of your life. And if you are still in contact, your ex boyfriend will notice that you have "moved on". This will make you more desirable to him.
- TIPS
- Think of all the things you did together and asked him if they would like to do it again. think why you broke up? if he wanted to kiss you but you said no the first time you got together and you said know that's why you broke up then when he seems most relaxed go to him and kiss them or when you are alone and your talking about what you did together, start moving closer to him/her and kiss them. Don't allow yourself to be jealous if you just found out that he just went out with someone else after you. he just might be trying to make you jealous so you could make a move and it gives you another chance with him. Remember, jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.
- On the contrary, making your ex jealous could work in your favor. Don't go overboard though and don't make it seem like you are trying to make them jealous. Even if they act aloof, don't worry, jealousy is very powerful and can make people do all sorts of irrational things.
- Make the right opening move. You must agree with your ex first that the both of you have broken up. Do not resort to any violence or anger.
- If he broke up with you for another boy/girl, then talk to him about it. Try asking him something like, "Do we still like each other? Will we ever be together again?"
- After break up, if your ex asks to go out with you again but just as friends, go for it.
- Just concentrate on the ways to get a good feeling of yourself and try to keep your spirits up. Try to mingle with friends outside and have lots of fun with them. This will definitely take you one step forward in your move to win your ex back.
- Be yourself. Do not act like someone else in order to be liked - it never works in the long run.
- Don't hit on his/hers best friend. It hurts your ex's feelings, but some people use it as revenge.
- Be subtle before you try anything obvious, you need to pick up his signals first. You don't want to look desperate.
- Be honest with him and yourself. Let him know you want this to work.
- Do not let him know you miss him! It lets him believe he has the upper hand when really neither of you do it should be equal!
- Don't ever come on too strong like giving him flirtatious eyes. A smile is fine at first.
- But remember don't let him know you miss him! he will think he has the advantage over you and he will believe that whenever he wants you he will get you like that!
- Don't be too pushy but at the same time let him know that you have control.
- If he wants you back just give him some time, but not too much! If it is meant to be it will be!
- If and when you and your ex decide to meet up, remember your appearance is important! Be the woman he fell for in the beginning. You don't want him to think you have let yourself go since the breakup.
- Do not call or text him all the time. This gives him the impression that you seem desperate. If you don't contact him, this will let him know that you're moving on and he needs to win you over if he wants you back. Remember if he wants to talk, he will call you.
- When you and your ex are having a conversation bring up past times that the two of you enjoyed. Let him know you haven't forgotten about the good times. This could work in your favor.
- Avoid flirting with his friends, it will push him away even more.
- Have a schedule. Men like women who have an agenda, it shows that they have other important things going on.
- Do not put pressure on him, tell him you love him from time to time. Tell him to take all the time he needs to answer. If he says no, go with the flow and move on, don't cry for the rest of your life, that just means that you two weren't meant to be.
- Always remember to have a positive posture. Your slouchy body language wont get you any where! Make sure you always have a smile on your face and feel good about yourself. Boys dont like girls that think bad talk about themselves.
- WARNINGS
- Never beg over and over again. It will make him love you less than he already does.
- Don't get your hopes up too high on this. There is a chance that he will not take you back.
- On-and-off dating can be heart-breaking and even abusive.
- Never forget the reason you broke up in the first place.
- Never let a man take advantage of you.
- Never take a man back if he broke up with you for another girl. Unless you still want him back and you know it was a mistake. Otherwise, he already had his chance with you.
- If he tries to cheat on his current girlfriend with you, turn away. If he's cheating on her now, he will cheat on you if you stay together. Just be friends and call it a day. Just be super nice and say no.
- If you think he will hit you some day then he will, run and never turn back.
- Don't go after your ex if he's married, it will only cause more hurt on your side.
- If your friends tell you that he was abusive even if you don't think so, believe them and do not take him back no matter what!
- If he seems to only want a physical connection and not a relationship, then leave him alone, because he is only looking for someone who is familiar to him.
- If you start winning him back, make sure you examine what went wrong the first time around and work on that problem or you will end up back to square one.
- First, you always have to remember why you two broke up. And you also have to remember to not take advantage of him.
- Don't become too obsessive. That'll push him away.
- Know when to let go. It can be the difference between getting the person back or having them walk away forever.
talk to you soon...
